The Ultimate All-Purpose Excuse

Let us assume, for the sake of this post, that I do things other than work, school, and staying home. Otherwise, it will never work. I never really do anything that I need to make that big of an excuse for, but if I did, I would probably do some careful planning beforehand. See, I have always been a little devious; I am just fairly quiet about it. So, when I did get caught being a conniving, little brat, I generally just shut up. I have learned from many a punishment from home that making excuses is hardly ever the better option, unless you have a foolproof one.

In assuming the role of a “normal teenager,” the first thing that comes to mind is sneaking out of the house, something I have never done, nor do I plan on it. If my mom ever caught me trying to run off in the middle of the night, I would probably never leave the house again, which really is not a punishment, but she does not know that. However, if I deployed a familiar tactic that has worked well in the past, I feel as though my punishment would decrease in severity. Ya’ see, my mom thinks that my friend, Megan, is the epitome of an angel child. I can recall many lectures where her name is brought up; comparing my actions to those Megan would have taken. I have learned over the years to use this to my own advantage. “But, Mom, Megan is going.” Or “Megan’s mom is fine with her doing this.” Now, it does not always work in my favor, but I would safely estimate that the percentage of success is roughly 93%.

So, in a situation in which I was caught leaving the house in the middle of the night, I think I would tell my mom something about Megan calling in tears saying she needed someone to talk to and that I responded telling her I would be right there, and obviously I can’t just leave her hanging mom, she is my friend and she needs me.

It is not much of an excuse, but I have found that simplicity is the best option when telling a lie. When things get too complex, they either fall apart completely or, in rare cases, are completely believed. Generally, I would choose to tell my mom why I was leaving, because I would not without a good reason, but if the opportunity arose, I think this would be the method I would choose.