Symbolic Recipe

2 c. wittiness

3 dashes of intelligence

1 c. awkwardness, and not in the cutesy way

2 c. anxiety

2 T. self-deprecating humor

1 tsp. effervescence

1 c. insight

A sprinkle of eloquence

A hint of bitingly mean remarks, which I always accidentally add too much of

1 c. introvertedness

1 c. extravertedness

1 ½ c. imagination

In a pasty-white bowl, combine wittiness, intelligence, and the capability to be bitingly mean together. Blend until mixture creates one you want to roll your eyes at. Let sit for a few hours, until the mixture is comfortable around you. Add in awkwardness, anxiety, introvertedness, and self-deprecating humor to make the mixture incapable of functioning like a normal mixture.

When the combined ingredients have blended thoroughly, add a sprinkle of eloquence, insight, effervescence, and extravertedness just to throw people off. Spread thinly on a cookie sheet, because this mixture has to half-ass a lot of things.

Top with imagination and serve.

Yields a 5’6”, sarcastic but awkward, yellow-haired waffle lover.